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an open letter to the university of north carolina tar heels [25 Mar 2007|08:54pm]

[ mood | heartbroken but grateful ]

thank you, boys, for such a wonderful year. thank you for surprising me, and delighting me, and being so amazing all year. thank you for beating duke, twice, and for all the immaculate comebacks, and even for the losses. thank you for the alley-oops to brandan, and the deep three pointers from the duke, and ty's amazing crossover dribble for the drive and the layup. thank you for the biscuits, and the blowouts, and the way the crowd in the dean dome sounds when you're up 2 or you're up 20.

and thank you, warren weston miller and reyshawn terry and dewey "biscuits" burke, for being such wonderful seniors, seniors like i haven't loved a senior since i loved george lynch when i was 13 years old. thank you for playing hard even as your minutes went down, and for playing hard even when you were sick, and for playing hard even when you spent most of the game on the bench. thank you, warren, for giving me a player to love like i love you, for your work ethic and your three point shot and your tiny, tiny height.

thank you, tar heels. thank you for giving me a team that i could love beyond belief this year. thank you for the joy, and thank you for the heartbreak -- a heart doesn't break like this unless you really love. this season was a hell of a ride, and since i can't drop the three ball from the outside, i can't say anything but thanks for everything.

next year's gonna be great.

9 comments|post comment

[the box-and-one is still my favorite, though.] [22 Mar 2007|09:27pm]

texas a&m is running a triangle and two, and i literally, actually just fell off the couch with joy. TRIANGLE AND TWO. i mean, holy fuck, when was the last time you saw a team not coached by tim floyd that ran a triangle and two unironically?
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[topic of today: kevin durant's nba career.] [18 Mar 2007|07:47pm]

so usc beats texas: does durant go pro? discuss. (also discuss: celtics fined $30K for contacting durant's family. wtf, is danny ainge mentally disabled? hanging out with durant's mama at the big twelve tournament: uh. yes. excessive contact. danny, you can't be her bff before her son declares! *facepalm*)
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[yeah, so. did stanford deserve this bid? the answer is categorically no.] [15 Mar 2007|01:25pm]

so, stanford, last team into the field, 18-12, worst record in the tournament (even arkansas won 21 games; stanford is the only team with fewer than 20 wins), lost in the first round of the pac-10 tournament, totally unimpressive resume: currently down by 26 to louisville at halftime.

somewhere out there, i can think of (at least) five teams (let's start with syracuse & drexel, move on to air force & florida state, wrap-up with clemson) who are sitting in their hotel rooms, waiting to play their nit games, and being really fucking pissed-off right now. (or not drexel, who lost to nc state in the first round. they're sitting at home being really fucking pissed-off.)

and i can't say i blame them. (even people who get PAID to write about this shit agree with me!)

ETA: THAT'S IT, BOBBY KNIGHT, NO MORE TRUSTING YOU EVER. YOU GOT THAT? on the other hand: why on EARTH did i pick texas tech to beat georgetown in the second round? grad school makes me crazy.
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Yeah. Duke's in here twice. This Duke team -- and quicknow, who's watched them all year, will back me up -- is temperamental at best and schizophrenic and defeatist at worst. They could go either way, and it's your call as to what you think they'll do.

NCAA men's tournament preview 2007Collapse )

So. Arguments?
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[i emailed this to keri, but i forgot to share it with you guys.] [08 Mar 2007|09:06pm]

The Maternal Unit had the best line of the year about University of Florida coach Billy Donovan the other night. She said, "Putting Billy Donovan in a suit and letting him coach college basketball is like putting a tuxedo on a corn cob and inviting it to the Inaugural Ball."

This is why the Material Unit, as infuriating as she sometimes is, is totally my favorite. Also she spawned me, so I owe her.

In other ACC tournament news:

So far in the ACC tournament we've got: one bizarre collapse (Maryland); one bizarre call (the foul on Clemson at the end of their game); one really, really ugly coat (Sidney Lowe); one overtime game (Duke/State). It don't get better than this, kids. MAN. *thumbs up*

ESPN is comparing tournament bids to airline tickets or something? Apparently, Carolina is flying first class, VaTech, UVA and BC are flying business, Duke and Georgia Tech are flying coach, Florida State is on stand-by, and Clemson is stuck at security. I don't know. I just report what they tell me.

I was going to ask if Rick Pitino was the biggest douche in the NCAAs, but then I remembered we already have a consensus on that.
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[ah, march.] [07 Mar 2007|09:59pm]

march: the time of year when i stay up too late (gotta catch the pac-ten) watching players i've never heard of (could not name a single person who plays for almost anyone in the big east, except eric what's-his-face who plays for syracuse) play games i don't care about (st. john's/marquette). god, i love this time of year.

the pac-ten having a tournament: still totally weird y/n?
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[01 Mar 2007|09:12pm]

i feel that it is appropriate to point out that, back in november, i picked virginia to finish third in the acc, and you scoffed at me. *buffs nails on lucky sweatshirt* (i also over-estimated duke, georgia tech, and florida state, and underestimated clemson('s early start), maryland, virginia tech and nc state. miami and wake ... are about where i picked 'em.)

front line reporting from the couch, during the carolina/georgia tech game:

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[we are all so drunk.] [17 Feb 2007|11:06pm]

boston college: sucks -- live blogging the axis in my living room, watching memphis @ gonzaga and then carolina @ bcCollapse )

doug flutie was at this game. WHERE THE HELL WAS JOHN SHEPPARD?
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[rick pitino is old, and john calipari is fat.] [17 Feb 2007|07:04pm]

we're watching memphis @ gonzaga, and john calipari has gotten fat. FAT! he looks all pugdy and bloated! not sleek and polished and well-suited at all! this, combined with the fact that rick pitino looked old, wrinkly and exhausted and OLD, when i watched louisville beat pitt the other night, is blowing my mind. i thought the two of them were cyborg-men! i didn't think they could get old or fat!


in other news, please enjoy this photo of vanderbilt players celebrating post-victory over florida, captioned 'fine and vandy' by espn, from whence i stole itCollapse )
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[Last night I was depressed; now I'm just furious.] [14 Feb 2007|08:59am]

I am about to say something blasphemous about the Tar Heels -- please put your fingers in your ears and hum if this bothers you.

Watching the Virginia Tech game last night, I've figured out what's wrong with us. (Although I will also accept the apology from Roy for his poor coaching role in the outcome of the game, because a) ZONE DEFENSE!?!?!! and b) it's not every day that a 500-win coach apologizes to me, personally or generally. Though, Roy, if you would like to apologize personally to me for that hideous tie, I can be reached via email at minervacat AT gmail.com.)

The root of the Heels' problems can be summed up in two words: Ty Lawson.

He was anointed before he even got here -- the next Phil Ford, Raymond Felton in a fullback's body. And he's done some great things, I can't deny that. He's a more explosive scoring power than Felton ever was.

But the thing is, if you got 11 McDonald's All-Americans deep on the bench, you don't need your frakking point guard to score 20 points every frakking game. Lawson doesn't like to pass; he'd rather drive the lane and take a bad shot than pass to an open teammate. He sees the open floor -- he's got no idea how to function in a half-court offense. He's a great point guard -- and he's a spoiled 14-year-old AAU superstar, both in the same body.

He's a kid, and he's playing like a superstar kid right now. Do it all himself. Never look for his teammates.

And for frak's sake, we do go 13 deep on the bench. We have at least six people who are better scoring threats that Lawson is -- why isn't he passing the ball to them? Why didn't Tyler Hansbrough touch the ball in the last 2 minutes of regulation last night? And it's not because Virginia Tech's defense was that good, though I'll give them credit for having played Tyler well. Tyler was open. Lawson was looking to be the hero himself.

Instead, he was the goat.

Here's what I think The Roy should do. (onthecontrary, plug your ears and hum now, you're not going to like this.)

The Roy should start Quentin Thomas. QT is a trainwreck, a turnover-prone third stringer. I don't care. Start him. He's an upperclassman. He's the only true point guard who played on the '05 team that had the drive, the desire to win it all, which this team lacks. QT passes. QT looks for his open teammates. QT takes a shot if it's the only option, not just if it's the first option. That's what I want in a point guard.

Start QT. Bring Bobby off the bench first and let him play long minutes. Let Ty Lawson sit there and learn to play on a goddamned team, instead of this me-against-the-world-ACC mentality he's got going now.

Because we're good enough to win it all this year, but not with him at the point, not the way he's playing right now.

And it makes me really sad to realize that -- he was supposed to be a saviour, and now he's just somebody I'd rather never see on the court.
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[i hate the new acc, i hate it so fucking much.] [13 Feb 2007|08:14pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]


in other news, over/under on roy's rage blackout is two minutes on either side of the 12 minute mark, and also he's wearing the frakking paisley tie again.

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[oh for the love of --] [10 Feb 2007|10:24pm]

[ mood | embarrassed ]

i really pretty much just want to set dick vitale on fire, it's true, but just now during the florida/kentucky game, kentucky blew a 3-on-2 break, that would have brought them within four of florida, by not even getting a shot off before they turned the ball over. vitale said, "high school kids could have gotten a look on that break! i could have gotten a look!" and i actually laughed out loud, because it was true.

someone please come over and shoot me in the head: i'm agreeing with dick vitale.

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[oh, holy shit, it hasn't even sunk in yet.] [07 Feb 2007|11:16pm]

that was a damn good game. props to jon scheyer, who impressed (and scared) the hell out of me. man. man. go heels.

*tries to remember how to breathe*
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[the thing is: we played like crap, we deserved to lose.] [03 Feb 2007|06:16pm]

resmin, if t. and i don't make it to your place tomorrow night, it's because i can't face your husband, and am sitting at home sulking like a small, spoiled child, too embarrassed to show my face. tell him i said that state played a hell of a game, and sidney lowe's jacket was motherfrakking ugly as sin.

and now, we sulk. *sulks loudly*
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[duke @ uva reaction] [01 Feb 2007|11:33pm]

hot DAMN, kids, that was a hell of a game -- i swear to god, when paulus let that shot go, i thought it was going to go in. i knew it was going to go in. and when it didn't, when the clock ran out, when the uva fans poured onto the court, i think my heart stopped for a minute.

i'm going to repeat something i said last night, in reaction to a blog post that suggested florida would lose during the regular season because they were "bored" in their conference: if you're bored in your frakking conference, kids, you play in a second class, pansy ass conference.

the acc is never boring, and we like it that way. mostly. except when our team loses.

here's something to think on: duke is allowing 59.0 points per game this season, their lowest ever points-allowed-per-game in the history of the program. carolina is averaging nearly 90.0 points (i believe it was 87.9 last night before they dropped 105 on miami) per game this season. when a stifling defense meets a high octane offense -- when the irresistible force meets the immovable object, what do the laws of physics say happens?
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["arguably the best transition team in the country ... no, i won't argue that. best transition team [31 Jan 2007|09:06pm]

i have a truly retarded love for the fan vids that sports channels make for themselves; sometimes even the fan vids that teams make for themselves. like at the florida state/carolina game, darastar and i discovered that, during halftime, the tarheels' media team had cut together a new fan vid using first half footage for showing right before the second half started. oh, college sports teams, you are so geeky and i love you. (i wrote that before the game, and then right before the second half started? espn showed a fan vid cut together from first half highlights. ♥)

also, god, whenever espn shoots from the floor and there are boys taking jump shots and their jerseys ride up and there are basketball player bellies on display, i get a little verklempt, it's true.

miami @ carolina, 01.31.07Collapse )
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[carolina/maryland women: best game of the season men's or women's y/n?] [28 Jan 2007|07:08pm]

the #1 duke, #2 north carolina and #3 maryland women's basketball teams are 61-1 combined this season -- the lone loss belongs to maryland, suffered at the hands of duke.

... i suspect that any one of those teams could probably beat the wake forest men's team.

brenda frese needs to touch up her dye job, because her roots are showing; surprisingly, this poor dye job does not make her any less hot.
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[keri on ty lawson: still on notice until he can figure out when he should and should not commit so [27 Jan 2007|03:07pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

coaches who might get canned at the end of the season: tommy amaker (michigan); gary williams (maryland). discuss.

liveblogging #4 north carolina @ #17 arizonaCollapse )

that was kind of a whupping, and without a starter and our best defender. AND I WAS WORRIED.

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[if they're storming the court when they beat you, that means that they don't beat you very often.] [17 Jan 2007|09:06pm]

[ mood | pleased ]

ahhhhh, sucks to be boston college.

live-blogging #4 carolina @ #16 clemsonCollapse )

8 comments|post comment

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